Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
