I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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