i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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