He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
