So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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