I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
