im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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