did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
