The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
