so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
