Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
