you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize