Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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