im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
