All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
