it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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