The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
