are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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