I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
