i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Everclear isn't food dammit
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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