That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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