Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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