I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize