Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
