Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
