he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
