singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
