I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
