Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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