Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize