Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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