I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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