420 ftw
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
