doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
