this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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