my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
