I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
