I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
