Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
