I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
