I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
