doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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