Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
