I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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