We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
White coat. Heels.
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
