he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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