If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
