Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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