Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
