I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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