ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
