Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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