i permit you to call me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
