why didn't you poke me back
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
