How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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