Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
