Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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