Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
