Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
